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curious thoughts and remembrances
Saturday, December 06, 2003
Various Thoughts
I got picked on a good deal when I was younger. I'm not sure if it was more than most kids experienced, I think it was, or maybe I just didn't take it well. Tonight, again, I realized that it's left a residue that still hasn't gone away. Ridiculous, huh?
Today, walking to the bus stop from work, a man asked me for something. I'm not sure what it was he wanted, but nevertheless I said something to the effect of "no, sorry." He said "please, sir" at least 4 times, and the way he said it made me feel horrible. About a block later I wished I had given him whatever he wanted. Change, my shirt, anything. It's naivete, perhaps, but doesn't so much of it come down to our parents? They mold us. They can make us into whatever they want to. I just can't believe that any of the people I see on sixth street in a given weekday, looking wild-eyed and begging, had parents that really took care of them. If they did, then what happened? "Drugs"?
At some point tonight I started thinking about my future children. I'm not sure that I'll ever have them, it's really inconceivable to me. But, I felt tonight like I got a glimpse into parenthood. Or, I got a glimpse into what parenthood will mean to me if and when I have a child. In an attempt to express that glimpse, I would type the most hackneyed phrases. So, I won't try. I will just give thanks for insight; thanks to my parents, to the homeless men on the street, to my friends, when they know how to treat me and when they can't understand me. I've always thought that a cool name for a kid would be "Mellow". Mellow Wood. I am the only person I've ever met that thinks that's a good name. 'Night.
Today, walking to the bus stop from work, a man asked me for something. I'm not sure what it was he wanted, but nevertheless I said something to the effect of "no, sorry." He said "please, sir" at least 4 times, and the way he said it made me feel horrible. About a block later I wished I had given him whatever he wanted. Change, my shirt, anything. It's naivete, perhaps, but doesn't so much of it come down to our parents? They mold us. They can make us into whatever they want to. I just can't believe that any of the people I see on sixth street in a given weekday, looking wild-eyed and begging, had parents that really took care of them. If they did, then what happened? "Drugs"?
At some point tonight I started thinking about my future children. I'm not sure that I'll ever have them, it's really inconceivable to me. But, I felt tonight like I got a glimpse into parenthood. Or, I got a glimpse into what parenthood will mean to me if and when I have a child. In an attempt to express that glimpse, I would type the most hackneyed phrases. So, I won't try. I will just give thanks for insight; thanks to my parents, to the homeless men on the street, to my friends, when they know how to treat me and when they can't understand me. I've always thought that a cool name for a kid would be "Mellow". Mellow Wood. I am the only person I've ever met that thinks that's a good name. 'Night.
