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Tuesday, September 02, 2003
Two steps from welfare
Tomorrow is my first official work day as an unemployed degree-holder. I am excited and nervous. My first point of business after waking up at 7am will be to shower and shave, put on some pants and a polo shirt, and catch a bus to the UT Human Resources office, where I will be shortly interviewed by someone and hopefully be given a "temp job". I'm hoping to start a full-time job in a couple of weeks, but for now I need to make some money.
I find that tension in my life inspires the greatest creativity/productivity, and I'm trying to go with that. Throughout the years I've picked up several interests and causes, and I'm always trying to hedge my bets to keep all avenues open that lead to pursuits of the goals I dream up. But lately I'm feeling really frustrated with this approach. I never go too far in one direction for fear of the resulting mileage (kilometrage?) I would have to trek to stroll down a different path for awhile. It's time for a new approach. One of my best friends had an old friend die yesterday, and tonight we had the conversation about death and what if it came today and viewing our present situations in light of that possibility. The conversation falls right in line with the frustration I'm talking about. If I had died on my inebriated bikeride home from the Hole in the Wall tonight, I would have left a legacy of myriad open paths and none of them really traveled. Once again it comes to mind: be bold, make a decision.
And as some sort of therapy this morning, I played with some dj software for a couple of hours, trying to make a nice mix of tracks that, with their powers combined, might soothe even the most troubled and lonesome soul. The result, after some whittling, is short and not too varied. As I listen to it now it consists of:
1) Turquoise Hexagon Sun - Boards of Canada
2) Hexagon - Aphex Twin
3) Analogue Bubblebath 1 - AFX
4) In a Beautiful Place Out in the Country - Boards of Canada
5) Z Twig - Aphex Twin
6) Kid For Today - Boards of Canada
It's only two artists, but I'll be damned if it doesn't cover all my bases right now.
I find that tension in my life inspires the greatest creativity/productivity, and I'm trying to go with that. Throughout the years I've picked up several interests and causes, and I'm always trying to hedge my bets to keep all avenues open that lead to pursuits of the goals I dream up. But lately I'm feeling really frustrated with this approach. I never go too far in one direction for fear of the resulting mileage (kilometrage?) I would have to trek to stroll down a different path for awhile. It's time for a new approach. One of my best friends had an old friend die yesterday, and tonight we had the conversation about death and what if it came today and viewing our present situations in light of that possibility. The conversation falls right in line with the frustration I'm talking about. If I had died on my inebriated bikeride home from the Hole in the Wall tonight, I would have left a legacy of myriad open paths and none of them really traveled. Once again it comes to mind: be bold, make a decision.
And as some sort of therapy this morning, I played with some dj software for a couple of hours, trying to make a nice mix of tracks that, with their powers combined, might soothe even the most troubled and lonesome soul. The result, after some whittling, is short and not too varied. As I listen to it now it consists of:
1) Turquoise Hexagon Sun - Boards of Canada
2) Hexagon - Aphex Twin
3) Analogue Bubblebath 1 - AFX
4) In a Beautiful Place Out in the Country - Boards of Canada
5) Z Twig - Aphex Twin
6) Kid For Today - Boards of Canada
It's only two artists, but I'll be damned if it doesn't cover all my bases right now.
